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“Louie” and Life Imitating Art

29 May

SOME OF MY FAVORITE TV SHOWS AND MOVIES challenge me and make me uncomfortable – and I like that. Some shows can make you look at your own life, or remind you of things that are current in your life, or have been, reminiscent of a lot of people and situations. There’s been several reminders courtesy of Louis CK’s show, Louie thanks to binge-watching it the last two weeks (I watched the first two seasons pretty religiously then just got behind and I long-wanted to get caught up).   

Damn if Louis CK’s amazing show “Louie” nails it in it’s accuracy and how close his character and several story arcs are to things in my own life.  From the stand-up comedy (a long-time fantasy and love) to the loneliness and struggles of being a divorced, single-but-trying-not-to-be dad (a decade of fantasy, love and frustration), sometimes I watch the show and its like looking into the mirror. I’m not projecting, its really being objective, especially when a particular episode is so timely – and accurate to what is going on in my life.

That happened with episode 10 in season 4.  Briefly, Louie is in love and she leaves, and Charles Grodin, playing the philosophical and deadpan Dr. Bigelow gives some fantastic advice:

Just PERFECT. “Misery is wasted on the miserable” – that’s just awesome, right?  Grodin tells Louie that missing someone because they are gone is actually love – everything else isn’t.  The pain and misery is actually the good part – that the bad part is when you forget that person, when you don’t care and don’t care about anything, advising Louie to “…enjoy the heartbreak while you can…what I would give to have that feeling again.”

Today, I love THIS.

Some Bullshit

25 May

SOME FOLKS might say there’s a woman to blame. Deep down though, I know its my own goddamn fault. Every goddamn time. 

And for fuck’s sake, what bartender is going to lose and search for a salt shaker?!? Just grab one from another damn table.

Go All The Way

15 May

“If you’re going to try, go all the way. Otherwise, don’t even start. This could mean losing girlfriends, wives, relatives and maybe even your mind. It could mean not eating for three or four days. It could mean freezing on a park bench. It could mean jail. It could mean derision. It could mean mockery–isolation. Isolation is the gift. All the others are a test of your endurance, of how much you really want to do it. And, you’ll do it, despite rejection and the worst odds. And it will be better than anything else you can imagine. If you’re going to try, go all the way. There is no other feeling like that. You will be alone with the gods, and the nights will flame with fire. You will ride life straight to perfect laughter. It’s the only good fight there is.” 

― Charles Bukowski

Expendable…

15 May

…is rejection by another name. It feels exactly the same, too.

 

Paranoia and Pessism vs. Preparation

28 Apr

This post from last week was particularly prescient, and given the past week, particularly helpful. Maybe I’m learning, after all…

I’M NOT PARANOID, just prepared. Trying to remember to think ahead, using experiences to be and get prepared. Predictability, borne out of those experiences, is a great tool and motivation for better preparation. I used to tell my mom, “hope for the best, but assume and prepare for the worst.”  That’s not pessimism – that’s preparedness.

22 years ago a very smart VP at Sony Music once had some great advice, regarding preparation, telling us, “forewarned is forearmed.”

Think about it. 

No sense wishing I always heeded this advice but no better time than the present.

Anything Is Possible If You’re Willing to Put In the Work

27 Apr

THIS: “Nothing in life is free, especially your time. Everything has a cost. And when it comes to your time, the cost is heavy. You can never get even one second back.You can live your life on purpose. You can spend your time on things you value. You can be who you intended to become. You can continue to progress and evolve, even after you’ve become successful and fulfilled. But the price must be paid. You can’t fake it. It’s available if you want it. But you must choose it.”

Source: Anything Is Possible If You’re Willing to Put In the Work

Going Solo, Redux

9 Apr

“YOU NEED TO LEARN HOW TO BE ALONE.”

Oh, for the number of times I’ve been told that. There’s some truth to that statement; it’s still something I need to be better at, and there’s several reasons why I don’t like being alone. Another post for another time might explore why that is — lord knows I’ve explored it for years!

Ultimately, however, at this stage in my life, I don’t want to be by myself, I want to be in a relationship. But currently, the way things have evolved in a certain situation, that’s not to be. Which I have to be o.k. with. At the moment, though initially I thought I would be o.k. with it, I’m not, because it was such a great situation with a truly great person. Someone who I’ve come to miss an awful lot. All of which makes being alone more of a struggle. It’s a good time for radical acceptance, to be sure.

It’s important to note that not wanting to be alone is not why I want to be with someone.

I often wonder why people who care about me think that I need to “learn how to be alone.” For me, it’s not such a binary choice – as if it’s simply a choice I don’t want to make — to not be in a relationship, vs. being in one, because I don’t like being alone.

The word “alone” can infer that one is lonely. I don’t always feel lonely when I’m by myself, despite the fact that being alone can often trigger sadness/depression and anxiety. Sadness because being alone often means I’ll ruminate on the past and people in the past, and why I’m alone, all mixed with a nice helping of guilt and beating the crap out of myself about it all. Anxiety because I’ll start thinking of the future and if that will be like the present — by myself. Who says time travel doesn’t exist? For me, it often does, going back to the past and fast-forwarding to the future.

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