The Question That’s Too Late to Ask

It’s a plea that can never be said enough, and one that because of recent, high-profile suicides has been seen on social media, in the news, etc.: if you know someone who is depressed, having issues, “got the blues”…talk to them, try and help…tell family…DO something, anything, don’t wait.

Hell, even if everything is fine, if you think everything is fine, keep in touch more with the people you care about. You can’t answer “what if I…?” when it’s too late to ask the question.

I’m asking “what if I…? a lot right now, and it’s too late to ask that question. Someone I cared very much about is gone. I had no idea she took her own life until I was at the funeral. I knew she had been physically sick but was on the mend and when I first heard about her death I thought it was due to her illness. I hadn’t communicated with her in a few months…what if I had? I just was telling someone a story about here a few days before she died – what if I had emailed her right when I was thinking about her? I thought about it, but didn’t.

Depression is vicious. People can hide their pain and suffering – 48 hours before her death she posted a beautiful picture of her and her husband with their two young daughters. I remember thinking, how vibrant and healthy she looked in that photo, after months of a bad illness, infection, and surgery. A few days before that she “liked” a post or two of mine. I wanted to reach out, thought about it…but didn’t. I’ll forever miss her, will forever wish I could have helped, will forever wish I called, or texted, or emailed, like I did so many times before. I will forever wish she was still here.

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