Random Bits, Bon Mots and Bullshit

Bathrobe basics: wearing one after 9:00 a.m. on a weekday and beyond 20 ft. from your front door could be cause for alarm. For example.

Today’s climate, coupled with a wariness for rejection and my fear of imposing, means I’m going to need a woman to literally make a sign saying “YES, I AM INTO YOU, LET’S GET DOWN!” or words to that effect. Actually, just a sign that says, “YES, I LIKE YOU IN A ROMANTIC WAY” would suffice. Thanks to a well-founded wariness of rejection, and my nearly life-long fear of imposing, the second sign seriously might be needed.

Sometimes, its hard not to have high expectations when you’re really looking forward to something. Conversely, having no expectations while looking forward to something is very freeing and can make what you’re looking forward to even better.

“Alexa: please play porn sounds” or “Alexa, set alarm for 4:30 a.m.” will make a great guest gag.

“Prepare for the worst, hope for the best” – not necessarily a mantra, but more of a strategy for most of my life. At one time I spent more time hoping for the best; I probably now spend more of my limited time and energy on preparing for the worst. Or, just shutting off any and all thoughts and actions about it.

Self-deprecation isn’t sexy. But it can be pretty damn funny, if one has a lot of experience to derive material from and decent comic timing.

Sometimes, all it takes is a song. An “instant mood enhancer,” if you will.  A song will get in your head, and then you just have to hear it. Thank goodness that any song you can think of is available instantly.

 

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