Some Notes On Online Dating

WITH THE CAVEAT that I know full well there’s many a woman who complains about these exact same things when it comes to guys, of course.

Not meaning to be mean here, just some honest notes as I tentatively get back into online dating.  It’s a frustrating endeavor; at times I don’t have the enthusiasm for the pursuit like I used to have in years past, and the reasons below are partly why.  In addition, part of the frustration is because thanks to my most recent relationship the bar is a lot higher now. Though one positive is that it helps to finally know what you want because that bar is so much higher now.  Sometimes you don’t fully know what you need and desire until you actually have it – or had it, that is.  But I digress, so…

  • If you’re going to describe yourself as “happy and outgoing” then why do all your pictures show you as what can be charitably described as “grimacing?” Or just looking unhappy? Good lord, smile!
  • Plenty of Fish is the Wal-Mart of dating sites.  You get what you don’t have to pay for.
  • Always, always, remember this rule: there’s a reason why that profile has 5+ photos showing only her face.  I don’t mean to be cruel, and I’m not looking for the perfect physical specimen, but often the descriptions (“average,” “athletic,” “full-figured,” to name a few) don’t match the reality, and an indicator of that is when a profile only has head shots.  At the end of the day, there’s you’re attracted to/by what you’re attracted to/by.
  • Though my search parameters have a limit of 20 miles and some specific body types, at least one website/app doesn’t care about that. At all.
  • You might want to show your friends that set of selfies you’re thinking of putting in your profile.
  • A photo of you taken 50 yards away is…worthless
  • All the Snapchat filters that you think are cute?  They’re not.  At least not for an online dating profile.
  • “…happy in a pair of jeans or a little black dress…” Really?
  • The majority of profile pictures are group shots – so it’s ridiculously hard to figure out who is the person you’re interested in.
  • Nothing is written in the profile. How are we supposed to have a conversation if you are providing me nothing.
  • Profiles filled with emojis  – not when you’re in your late forties, or early fifties, nope, don’t
  • Bathroom mirror selfies.

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