A really nice ink pen can do wonders for the soul.
Moth balls remind me of my grandmother and that puts me in a good mood.
Does the Locks of Love charity take back hair?
Guys who wear their lifting belts outside the gym.
Folks under 70 wearing sunglasses indoors: blind, moron, or black eye for being a moron?
I often flounder on the sea of rudderless destiny.
Some might say there’s a woman to blame. Deep down though, you know its your own goddamn fault.
And for fuck’s sake, what bartender is going to lose and then search for a salt shaker?!? Just go grab one from another damn table.