This totally nails it.
This episode of What Healthy Couples Know That You Don’t really gets to the heart of the matter as to what’s the matter, communication-wise. The episode breaks down communication problems with your partner into two main types:
* Fills up the space, crowds out the other with a sea of words, in an effort to convince and win
* Crowds out the other person by witholding and not including and discussing with your partner
Indeed. I have sometimes been guilty of doing both.
Host Rhoda Mills Somner (a licensed psycho-therapist) describes that good communication is helped by not making accusations. That you should make a problem a “we” problem that can be solved and shared vs. a dump on the other person helps you feel more like a team. You both are in this together.
Makes a lot of sense to me: “If you’re the type of person that fills up the space with your own point of view you have to be serious about making room for the other person.” In other words, basically, shut up and listen!
So much of this I’ve heard or read in various forms, from various people, but this format and the way it’s all explained really made a lot of sense to me. I have listened to this multiple times and each time have got something out of it (as mentioned before, repetition is helpful).
Some other nuggets:
* Good communication requires being authentic
* Being authentic requires vulnerability; a good start at vulnerability is the ability to apologize.
* When you are more vulnerable you will be more open to other points of view. How can we meet in the middle?
* Good communication requires respect for another point of view and for that person and to give up trying to win.
* Stop witholding and be more real if you’re an avoider
I love this podcast. Each episode features great information and insight, each one is about eight to ten minutes.
From the podcast episode, “Communication, Want to Fix it?” by What Healthy Couples Know That You Don’t https://player.fm/1ZnTFd #nowplaying